I don’t know if you’ve been paying attention to all these married couples celebrating double-digit anniversaries, but they’ve been giving us game on what keeps their marriage going strong after all these years.
One of the key points they all have in common is: regularly and intentionally spending time together!
There’s a reason most marriage counselors urge couples to have regular date nights to keep them from calling it quits. Dating your spouse reminds of you of why you fell in love with them in the first place. I read a quote that puts it perfectly “The same way love begins, it continues.”
Let that sink in.
I got another one for you “Time is a prerequisite for love. You cannot love someone you do not spend time with.” (Shout out to Kevin A. Thompson for the quotes!)
Now let that one sink in.
Life is busy, but guess what? We’re all “busy.” We all have laundry to do, dishes to wash, homework to review, but we still have to make time for “us.” Seriously. I want you to get it. We have to stop treating Romance as something we casually do from time to time and start placing the importance on it that it deserves. Romance is a NECESSITY, not a luxury! It's an invaluable tool that helps you create a deeper level of intimacy in your marriage.
When Anthony and I were drifting apart, I had to reflect on how we even got to that point. I asked myself:
What caused us to live as "roommates" vs. man and wife?
Why didn't I feel as connected to him?
Why did our conversation start to lag?
I was determined to get to the root of our problem because, quite frankly, what I DID NOT want to happen is for us to live separate lives while under one roof.
I called a timeout and said "Hey, keep Thursday open, we're going out." Y'all. It was one of the best dates EVER! We didn't do anything fancy either. All we did was go to a local bar/restaurant, eat wings, and shoot pool.
Those few hours of releasing the "real world" and just having fun with each other, relaxed and rejuvenated us. We laughed so much that night. We grounded ourselves and reconnected with fun!
You can too! You don’t have to drift further and further apart. You don’t have to continue on as roommates.
If that’s you, you’ve got some homework to do...
YOUR HOMEWORK: Take stock of how much time it’s been since the last time you spent time with your Honey alone. Make a list of all the things that you’ve allowed to come between you and your boo’s quality time since that last time (BE HONEST! You have to IDENTIFY AND OWN your stuff to improve!). Then, schedule some alone time IN THE NEXT 7 DAYS!
Need accountability? Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. I’d be more than happy to support you!