At some point in your marriage, you're going to be let down by your spouse. There have 2 distinct instances in our marriage where I felt completely let down by my husband.
The first time was when I asked him to support me at an event by wearing matching promo t-shirts and passing out flyers and business cards. Now. I knew it was risky because Anthony HATES to match me. He is just now warming up to the idea of coordinating colors when we go to wedding and such. But I asked anyway. He said yes.
I was super pumped!
Well the morning of, he was dragging his feet about getting dressed for the event, so I asked him what was wrong.
He said, "Do I REALLY have to wear this shirt? I mean I know it's for your business and all, but do I REALLY have to do it?"
I instantly got an attitude and said "Forget it. Do what you want to do."
In my mind, that meant, "You see how upset I am that you're asking me the day of, just do it so we can have a great time."
In reality, he didn't wear the shirt. I was PISSED.
I asked him before I got the shirts made if he was ok with it and he said he was...when he really wasn't.
So here we are hours before the event and while I should be pumping myself up to go out there and be extremely extroverted, I have to put that on pause because I'm mad at my husband and feeling totally let down and unsupported.
It’s in those moments where you have to put your big girl or big boy draws on and address the situation like an adult or pout/have an attitude or give them the silent treatment.
I chose to pout for a little bit then put my big girl panties on and talk to my husband.
I thought to myself, “He is still supporting me, just in a different way.”
And honestly, I needed his support – in whatever way he wanted to give it to me. This was too important to my business and I didn’t want us to go out there disunited, so I gave him some grace.
We talked about how I felt let down and that if he really does not want to do something then to just tell me..sooner than later. It may sting, but I’ll get over it. He agreed and all was well.
So, we went out there TOGETHER. We still worked as a team even if we weren't dressed alike.
He's such a great guy that he continued to pass out flyers and talk to people well after I reached my human interaction limit.
So the next time your Honey does something to let you down, consider "gracing" them. Then have an open dialogue about how to handle the situation differently in the future.